Less But Better
Life is busy.
How can we juggle our career, family, finances, hobbies, and social life, while still finding time to invest in our own health and wellness?
If it sounds impossible, that’s because it is. Try as we might, we can’t have it all. Refusing to accept this leads us to feel under pressure, like we don’t have enough hours in the day. We rush from one task to the next, spending little time or energy on the things we really care about. Over time we become stressed and can feel unfulfilled.
What if we could eliminate the distractions? What if we could focus only on the essential components of our lives? What if we chose to do less – but better?
It all starts with a decision.
Every decision we make is a trade-off. We can choose to be average at a lot of things; good at some things; brilliant at a few things; or world class at one thing. Time and energy invested in one area can’t be diverted elsewhere. You can choose to work late, or you can go home and kick a ball around with your son. Over time, one might advance your career, while the other might nurture a stronger relationship with your family.
The problem is that we don’t make decisions based upon what is truly important in our lives. We tend to take the path of least resistance, follow the crowd, or be lured by external motivators like money or status. Years of these misaligned decisions leave us wondering why we’re successful but unhappy.
To improve our decision making and begin to understand the trade-offs we make every day, we must first highlight what holds the most value in our lives. To be truly successful, we must excel in the areas that we deem most valuable. Held under scrutiny, very few things in life are essential, with the vast majority being trivial.
Consider the things you couldn’t bear to live without. Now imagine all your efforts and attention were focused only on these few things. Think about the level of contribution you could make towards the things you value above all else, and what kind of impact might this have on your life.
Despite this untapped potential, we waste so much time and energy on things that don’t really matter. We spend our time frivolously and wonder why our impact is so negligible. We’re distracted from what gives our lives purpose.
In the UK we spend on average over 4 hours per day on our phones. Given that we’re (hopefully) getting 8 hours of sleep each night, that means 4 of our 16 waking hours are spent staring at a tiny screen. We’re surrendering 25% of our conscious lives to cat memes and emojis.
Imagine what could be accomplished if we had several extra hours every day to do what we found most rewarding. Imagine what we could achieve by dedicating that time to the single most important thing in our lives. Imagine how fulfilled we could be. Imagine the impact we could have. The trade off? You’ll never know what Susan next door had for lunch yesterday.
We often talk about having priorities, with little thought given to what the word means. For centuries the word priority existed as a singular noun, meaning to come first, or to have precedence over something else. Only in the 19th century did we pluralise the term to justify our increasingly hectic way of life. In doing so, we lost sight of what it means to have a singular focus. The more options we have, the more distracted we become, and the less impact we have.
Only when we stop trying to do it all can we make serious progress with the things that matter. Pursuing something other than what matters most to us – no matter how noble it may look written down on paper – will ultimately prove unfulfilling.
Understanding what matters most is the first part of the equation, but we still need the courage to make choices that align with our purpose. The options laid before us aren’t necessarily within our sphere of influence, but we always have control over our choices. We might have been “stuck” in a job we hate for years, but we can get up and leave at any time. Of course, there’s always a trade-off; uncomfortable conversations, short-term loss of earnings and fear of the unknown in exchange for our potential future happiness.
It might not be easy, but we must never lose sight of our ability to choose. When we forget that we wield the power of choice, we learn to be helpless. We accept a life that is less than we deserve. We settle for mediocrity. We are unfulfilled.
We can start making better choices by learning how to say “no”. How often do you agree to do something, or commit to an event only to regret it later? If you’re anything like me, all the time.
Saying yes is easier in the moment because it negates a potentially awkward conversation, and on a fundamental level, we want people to like us. The downside? Now you’ll have to commit precious time and effort to something that’s not important to you. Our fear of missing out urges us to jump at every opportunity that comes our way. But what if committing to a mediocre opportunity now prevents us from seizing a life changing one later?
If interests are completely aligned, say yes. If they aren’t, say no. If we’re not sure, the answer is still no. We would be wise not to dabble with lukewarm confirmations, because if we don’t prioritise our lives, someone else will.
We can try to have it all, or we can choose to do less – but better.
Just remember, we have the power of choice.
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Robbie Price | Aristos Owner & Coach